Dear Auron
by TenzouGirl
Summary: She wrote him letters to help herself cope, hoping he could somehow answer. BONUS CHAPTER FOR FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY! Auron/Rikku Aurikku
1. Dear Auron

Letter #1

Auron-

I don't even know how to begin this letter… it's not like you'll ever read it, but Lightning and Tifa suggested I do it to help me cope. I'm not sure what I'd do without them. Something stupid, I'm sure.

I don't understand why you had to leave. I don't understand why you didn't tell me before… that you were… well, you know and now so do I. I don't understand; why would you make me fall in love when you knew you had to leave? Why had you acted the way you did? I _hate you for leaving. I hate you for making me fall in love with you. I hate you for lying to me this whole time. I feel like a total idiot for falling for that. I TRUSTED YOU. _I understand that it would be hard… it was when I finally found out. But… why would you draw out my suffering? When you started to fall in love with me you _should have told me the truth._ I don't know how well I would take it… but I think anything would be better than this. I would have tried to save you. I would _die trying._ I love…_loved you SO MUCH._ I just don't understand anymore.

Letter #2

Auron-

It's been a month since you and Tidus left. Yuna is a wreck as well… I wish I could do something for her. _Anything._ It's so hard, losing someone you love. I still don't understand… How are you doing? Why do I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and see you sleeping soundly next to me? I can't help wishing this was all a horrible dream; that I'll wake up and curl into your arms… Why am I expecting you to reply? Why am I even doing this?

#3

Auron-

I'm so sorry… I should have stopped you, somehow. I lie awake every night thinking of how I _should have acted._ Instead, I just sat there and watched you disappear… I was so _stupid…_ My heart- it hurts so much thinking of you. You were always there for me, like we had promised. I wish I could have been there for you.

#4

Auron-

I feel so stupid writing this. Why would you care? You _left me._ Alone. I'm sure you're glad to be rid of me… the stupid, annoying al-bhed. Are you laughing at me right now? Me and my _stupid emotions?_ Why did you never cry? You hardly talked… only listened… or did you not even do that? Did you care for me at _all? _Did you just string me along for the fun of it? WHY? I HATE YOU. This is the last time you'll "hear" from me.

#5

Auron…

I just want you to know _they _forced me to keep writing… I don't _want _to "talk" to you anymore. It's not like you ever talk back. Ha. Just like before… I hope you know how miserable you made me… Lightning and Tifa… they're so happy with Cloud and Zack… I'm always the 5th wheel… I always feel left out. I don't think they notice; I always put on a fake emotional mask. I pretend I'm having fun but really, I'm dead inside. This _sucks. Love sucks. Life sucks. I wish I was dead._

#6

Auron-

For some reason I couldn't help but feel you were worried about me… was I wrong_? DO you care?_ Are you hearing me right now? I'm sorry, again... I shouldn't have said what I did. You were a great guy… I know you loved me a lot… just as I loved you. I shouldn't hate you; in fact I _can't. _I've tried so hard to make you the bad guy… to make you seem like a horrible person but I can't help but understand now. The TRUTH. You didn't tell me because you were already in love. You didn't want to leave until the last possible moment… you wanted to spend more time with me. I understand. You did love me after all. Was I the only one able to make you laugh? Smile? Could I piss you off one second and then the next you thought 'god I love her so much?' I hope so… You were the most important person to me… right up there with Pops… I have stuff to tell you; you know, about what's been happening lately, but I'll wait until next week…

#7

Dear Auron,

Lightning and Tifa are making me go out tonight. They said I've spent enough time grieving… don't they understand my pain? …Oh I know, I know. They're "only doing it FOR me." Riiiiight…. Well… I don't really want to go out. I don't WANT to fall in love again. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to replace you. But… I'll do it for my friends… and for you. I need to get over you sometime. Until next week, Auron.

#8

Dear Auron,

I had a great time… they set me up with a guy. He seemed nice. His eyes are blue and he has short blonde hair… why am I telling you this? To make you jealous? I don't know… I guess I just wanted to keep you updated. The guy… his eyes… they seemed so understanding. He too had lost his wife in an accident… one that he claimed was _his fault._ Was your death my fault? _I don't even want to think about that._ How did he stand it? The sheer thought of losing her? What had _he done _to deserve that fate? He seemed so sweet, a little gruff, just like you… but I know he's really sweet, deep down. Just… like you, Auron.

#9

Dear Auron-

I went out with _him _again. He reminds me of you _so much…_ I feel horrible using him to "be with you"… it's unfair to such a sweet guy like him. I have to stop… I have to end it. I can't hurt someone like that. _I guess that's something in common with us… How could I word it to not hurt him? He's such a great guy… only I could find a way to screw it up. I'm so stupid… _

#10

Auron-

I couldn't do it. It's been a month since I wrote you last. The whole time I've been trying to muster up the courage… I just couldn't… He- he told me he loved me… he told me… that I was his '_one chance at happiness, again'… Why me?_ There are so many great people out there. Ones that are un-damaged. Untouched. There are people who deserve him _more than I possibly could._ When he told me… I froze. I didn't know what to say. He told me "…'S okay. I understand…" and left. I haven't seen him in a week. I haven't talked to him in longer. I saw him on the street once. I couldn't talk to him. I pretended I didn't see him, but our eyes met. He looked so sad; I can't bear it. My heart feels that familiar ache… I hurt him… like you hurt me, but worse… because he still has to see me.

#11

Auron-

I miss him. A lot. My heart hurts like it did before. I wish you were here… you'd know what to do… but if you were here I guess I wouldn't be in this situation… I still can't hate you. I can't seem to regret loving you either. It's so unfair. I called his house… just to hear his voice. I didn't talk to him… I just listened. I miss his voice… his cute southern accent… his eyes, so true and understanding… his arms, so ready to hold me and comfort me… hell, I even miss his swearing. He… doesn't remind me of you anymore. I don't know why I can't tell you his name… is it because I don't want this to end, this fake relationship between us? I don't want to close the gap in my heart… and I was so scared because _he had started to._

#12

Auron-

He called me. I don't even know _why…_ he told me that he missed me. That he _needed me._ He sounded so scared that I would reject him; I wanted to… but I couldn't. Again. I told him that I would try to get my act together… that I would try and forget. He… told me he didn't want me to forget because it made me who I am. He told me that he loved me. Truly. He told me that he would wait for me. He would wait until I was ready; until I wanted him, no matter how long it took. I cried. I cried for us, for him, for you. I cried for everyone who had to be put through this. I cried for everyone who has been in love.

#13

Auron-

I couldn't call him until now… it's been two months since he said that he'd wait… I don't even know how long it's been since you left… I told him that I would meet him somewhere. _Anywhere. _I told him I _needed to see him. To feel him. To tell him I'm sorry._ He told me where to meet him; a place few people knew about. I can't tell you about it, I swore to him I wouldn't. He knows about the letters. I told him after I had apologized. He understands, again. I told him that I would stop if it bothered him; he told me he didn't want me to stop until _I wanted to._ He said he just wanted me to be happy.

#14

Auron-

I've waited far too long to send you a letter, I apologize… I have something to tell you. It's going to be difficult… C- He and I… we've kissed. It was on our 5th date, he tells me. It was so much different from your kisses; we were so in love and impassioned that it didn't matter how we kissed. With _him _it was different… he took it my pace. After it, we just stood together and he held me close to him. He told me, "I just want to be near you. I want to feel your hair, I want to hear you breathe because then I know that this isn't just a dream."

I cried because of him again, this time it was happy tears. Joyful. It's been too long since I have done that. It felt good.

#15

Auron-

I have more news. This is hard to tell you… but I'm engaged. He proposed. He looked as nervous as he was when he told me he loved me. Like before I had nothing to say; I was absolutely speechless. I said yes. I had to. I hope you're not angry. I would understand if you were upset, but I love him so much. If I wake up in my own bed, alone, I get worried. I wonder where he is, I miss him when he's gone. It's weird, in a good way, to be in love again. It's nice to feel these feelings again.

#16

Dear Auron,

I regret to say this will be my final letter. You have no idea how hard this is going to be, forgetting about you, in a way… I hope you know that I will always love you. You'll always be my first love; my first 'soul mate.' I owe everything to you. You have no idea how much the time spent with you meant to me.

You deserve to know his name. His name is Cid. Cid Highwind. I have a last bit of news for you… I know it's been too long since I wrote to you, about a year in fact; I've been very busy but that's no excuse…

Auron… I had a child. He's so beautiful. His hair is blond like ours; he is marred with my eyes. Cid says they are beautiful. I love _him _so much. He looks like his father. He has the perfect name; one Cid suggested. You should have seen me when he did. Being hormonal and pregnant and all I bawled for hours. He held me like before; he comforted me.

When I held our child I made a solemn promise. _I would never lose this Auron._


	2. Dear Mommy

Author's note- Well… I'm not sure if it's the right day… or if I'm early/late because of some unknown time difference but HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL/RACHELPLUM/RIKKU RONSO! I procrastinated a bit, but here ya go! I'm sorry it's so short! I hope you like it! -Laura/Demonlynk/TenzouGirl

Dear Mommy

Mommy-

Daddy says you left on a trip somewhere, and that you won't be back for a long time, so I wanted to write you a letter. Why did you leave me and Daddy? He's really sad; sometimes I can hear him crying your name at night. I go up to him and give him a big hug. Sometimes he tells me to go to bed and he tries to wipe his tears away so I can't see. I tell him, '_It's okay, Daddy, I miss Mommy too. Don't worry, she'll be home soon.' _Then he hugs me and we fall asleep on the couch watching home-movies and sometimes some tv.

Where did you go? Daddy told me where you went but I forgot the name. Is it nice there? I hope you get this letter.

I wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you mommy! I hope you can come home soon and read me bedtime stories again. Daddy doesn't do it quite right, but it's okay, I still love him. I tried to give you a kiss through this letter, so quick, catch it! It's gonna fly out when you open this!

Did you like my kiss mommy? Do you remember me? You have been gone as many days as I am! I'm seven, remember? I can count really good now! Do you miss me too? How about Daddy?

Oh no! It's bedtime! I have to go to bed now, Daddy says just 'cause you're gone for right now I can't be sneaky. Oh well, I'm kind of tired. I love you mommy! Don't forget to catch the kiss! I did it just for you! Night mommy! I love you!

Love,

Your dear Auron

Dear Mommy,

I'm sad because you're still not home. Where are you? Didn't you promise me you'd always be there? I remember you singing to me, I remember your kisses!

Daddy is still sad too. He stays inside a lot and he doesn't drive his ship very much! I told him that he needed to be happy for when you came home! Daddy says you won't be home for a long time still. How long do I have to wait until I can hug you again? I'm not too old for bedtime stories yet, so you better hurry and read me some!

I'm still afraid of the dark, and my friends laugh at me for it, but that's okay because they still wet the bed. Hehe!

Are you happy on your trip, Mom? I still miss you a lot. I hope you'll come home soon. I love you!

Love,

Your dear Auron

Mom,

It's been 8 years since my last letter. How did you even understand my writing?

I remember where Dad told me you went. I learned about the Farplane a while ago… I don't know why I never connected the dots… I would come home every day and ask where you were… I don't even want to know how it made Dad feel.

The Farplane…It's where lost loved ones go when they die. How did you die, Mom? When was it? I don't remember; it's been a long time. I'm already 15 years old, I have a girlfriend now. She's really nice.

Are you up there with Sir Auron..? Dad's not doing so good, he's been sick for a while… I'm scared, Mom… I don't want to lose him too.

…I love you, Mom.

-Auron

Dear Mom,

The doctors said Dad didn't have much longer… I guess all that chain-smoking and lung cancer really caught up to him...

It's been so long since you left. I still miss you just as much as I did when you left… I'm not afraid to cry anymore, Dad says it's okay to cry, that it doesn't matter if you look manly or not. He says "_Stay true to your heart, Auron. It's all you can truly trust and it's the one thing that will never disappear…_"

He missed you so much. He hadn't had a girlfriend since. It was pretty tough to watch… but it's okay… he said he'd be with you soon. I remember his final smile before the monitor when flat.

"_Be strong, Auron. Always remember we loved you. Don't grieve, don't regret. I'm going to see __**her**__again."_

I miss you both, but I'm happy you're together again. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

Just promise me _one thing, mommy… _

_Watch Dad for me. Don't let him near any cigarettes. He's pretty crafty, I tell you._

…_And one more thing… _

_Promise me that you won't forget about me, okay? _

_I love you guys __**so much…**_

_Love, _

_Your dear Auron_


End file.
